Something Special for JeniFriend!

Hello! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I know being a Bride-to be is so very exciting, filled with so many hopes and dreams, promises of what is to come! And so wonderful that you should be where you are! What a abundant blessing!

I know that G's theme for you today is foodie stuff, but I want to take a little different approach - and please forgive me Gin for "hijacking" your event!

I want to share with you some very special things....

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary to my husband, who has become the man of my dreams and the keeper of my heart! Honestly, we weren't always where we are right now in our marriage, but I am soo glad we got here! Check out Song of Solomon 8:6-7 from The Message, I think it describes it perfectly:

Hang my locket around your neck,
wear my ring on your finger.
Love is invincible facing danger and death.
Passion laughs at the terrors of hell.
The fire of love stops at nothing—
it sweeps everything before it.
Flood waters can't drown love,
torrents of rain can't put it out.
Love can't be bought, love can't be sold—
it's not to be found in the marketplace.


I have thought and thought deeply, and put much time in prayer as to what I could give you for your journey as a married woman, and here is what I have for you, my personal little nuggets for you to take!

1. Keep Christ the priority and focus of your life and home! Really, Darryl and I didn't start out that way, it made life harder for us, and I can tell the difference in our marriage since we began to put Jesus first, everything else second. We still endure many things, but we have such a greater outlook and I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to know that you are loved and carried no matter what.

2. Uphold each other as partners. I spent many years fighting against my husband, just trying to get things to go my way. You wanna know what I've learned? He's smarter than I've given him credit for and if I respect him as a person and the man I married, well, let's just say that we don't "disagree" (translate into throwing the bowls across the living room at each others' heads) and we can talk things out in a manner that we can actually hear each other.

3. Remember to talk to each other. I don't mean the short convos that we end up falling into after some time passes. Sit down and have actual conversations with each other. You guys fell in love for a reason! ;)

4. Love changes. It grows, it changes. I don't get all giggly when my husband walks through the door anymore. But you know what a do have? A deep understanding that the man that has given his life to me would give his life for me and would not have one second thought about that. I understand that above all, he is my beloved and I am his. I have faith that when he leaves for work, he will come home. I know that our family is his priority and that he won't be swayed from us. And there is something very amazing about the level that love runs once it has been cultivated for awhile.

5. Don't sweat the small stuff. It really isn't a big deal if he drops his shorts on the floor at night instead of folding them up neatly and placing them on the dresser. We do just as much annoying stuff to them! Life itself will have many things you will have to face without wanting to choke each other over toothpaste caps (although if he leaves the potty lid up then he is fair game! I don't like falling in myself! LOL).

6. Set realist goals for yourselves as a family. Yep, you guys are your own family now. Talk about where you would like to be in a few years, set some goals for that. It keeps you focused if you have a goal, and aren't just "surviving"!

7. In-laws have advice. And lots of it. They mean well, and you have to keep that in mind. I have a great mother-in-law, I feel very blessed that she is as respectful of our marriage as she is. However, even she has her advice for us. I love her for it, I know that her main goal is to see us both happy and doing well. So if you get bad advice, just remember the heart behind it is one that truly loves her son and wants his happiness! This outlook helps when things get a little awkward with the family....and yes, he inherits your family and you inherit his. More people to love! :D

8. Sometimes it's better to wait awhile than to fix the issue RIGHT NOW. The first few years are the most interesting, you are still learning so much about each other! And truthfully, you are with each other 24/7 (to a degree) so you are bound to grate on nerves. Take a time out. Seriously, that has saved my husband and I many arguments because either he or I have realized how silly we were being. It would have been great had we learned this one early on, but that was something that came with time for us. *insert BIG grin here*

9. Men are pretty straightforward. Hahaha, it took me FOREVER to understand that when he would say "nothing is wrong" or "nothing is on my mind" or "I'm just tired" (especially that one) that is truly what he means. There is no hidden emotions there, there is none of him being upset and just needing to talk it out (which is for some reason what I always thought)...men are pretty blunt. And yes, that simple. Maybe that is why I couldn't wrap my brain around that, too simple for me!

but most importantly:

10. Keep your marriage between YOU, your HUSBAND, and GOD. Yes, there are going to be times you get mad. There will be times that he dissappoints you or hurts your feelings, there are going to be times where you are just totally floored by his lack of understanding on something. There are going to be times of great joy and God given peace. There are going to be times that you want to celebrate, and times you want to shout your love from the rooftops! Honey, by all means, put that wonderful stuff out there! But what I can say is this, the times where it is bumpy, get in your shower or your closet and pour your heart out to God. God is the only one that can direct you guys in the way that is right for you, and He is the only one who can "fix" the problem. The less people involved, the less complicated things are. Friends and family have good intentions, they mean well, but HE is your mate, HE is your confidant, HE is the person you lay next to at night. Spreading those hurts or wounds out there just gives the enemy firepower.


I hope this helps you some, and hope you've had a few laughs while reading. If there is any way I can help encourage you, let me know. I will share my story with you one day, or you are more than welcome to ask Ginger, she'll shed light on where Darryl and I have been. If there is one thing I know, I know this....God sanctifies marriages, He protects them, and if you lean on Him first, you can make it through ANYTHING. I know, I've been there!

Congratulations again!